An excerpt from my brain: Musings on being medically trained in the scientific method

[krisomniac]

The story begins with me noticing larger, puffier bags under my eyes these last few month/weeks and deciding to try to reduce them. This decision coincided with my trip to NYC last weekend, where there just happened to be an Origins shop near my parents' house. And our opening act concludes with the purchase of Origins 'eye doctor' cream (but not the Undereye Serum which was even MORE expensive-- and which the nice lady at the counter gave me a free sample of anyway).

This is the conversation I recently had with myself regarding the merits of said cream after one day's use:

... Wow. That really worked! OMg, I can't believe the insanely expensive cream actually helped.

... I wonder if it really helped though. It might just be a placebo effect or wishful thinking.

... I bet I can think of a way to objectively measure the puffiness under my eyes...

... Serial photographs taken at the same time relative to getting out of bed, in the same lighting, at the same angle, every day, analyzed by computer?

... Now that's just being silly.

... Is it?

... Even if I do show a positive effect. Is it due to the increased circulation from cream application? Or something in the ingredients themselves?

... After the first experiment, I should clearly switch to a plain moisturizer placebo control and repeat.

... It should be double blinded though.

... From myself?

... Yes. Unmarked containers and an objective third party to read the results.

... Then how will I know whether it's the serum, the creme, or both?

... That's easy. Just repeat the experiment with one at a time.

... Oh no!

... What.

... I'll need to get other girls, age, stress, and sleep-pattern matched to me.

... Why?

... Because I'll never achieve statistic significant with N=1

... I should apply for funding before I start.

*facepalm*

Tell me I'm not the only one who thinks about these things. I think I'm going to go to bed now.

Comments

[one-2-3-4.livejournal.com]

Maybe not exactly? But I have had a VERY similar conversation with myself over the use of an under eye serum that I couldn't tell if it was working because of the serum, the stimulation of the area, a change in my sleep patterns, or a million other factors. I didn't get as far as sample size.

[krisomniac.livejournal.com]

Hehehee! But you WOULD have ;) It's the next logical step.

[one-2-3-4.livejournal.com]

*hangs head* Yeah, I really would have.

[amchara.livejournal.com]

Heee. I can't imagine you're the only one. ;)

But as my grandfather would say, the reason is: "It's because you're too highly edumacated." :P

[krisomniac.livejournal.com]

I have to say, this is one subject on which your grandfather and I might not disagree-- even in choice of words (although, never having met him, there may be others.)

[girlmostlikely.livejournal.com]

It is both hilarious and bizarre to me to find out how the scientific mind works. *g*

♥

[krisomniac.livejournal.com]

The scary thing is; I subscribe to veterinary list-serves, and these are the conversations the doctors have with each other about ABSOLUTELY EVERY TOPIC that comes up, from use of drugs in race horses to ethical dilemmas about breeding.

Apparently we are doomed.

[lacylu42.livejournal.com]

I married a creature somewhat like you. Unfortunately, his mental scientific experiments tend less toward analyzing eye cream and more towards evil plots to rule the world.

But what are you gonna do? It's the way God made ya. ;)

[krisomniac.livejournal.com]

Give him a high-five for me. I'll tackle the cosmetic companies to distract them while he takes over the world.

[stillane.livejournal.com]

Um. This sounds scarily like a thought process I would have. Every time they have those commercials for the magical wrinkle remover or whatever, I want to see them controlling for light exposure, time of day, etc. I'll believe it when I see it have the peer-reviewed double blind study to prove it.

Then again, I don't think I count. You know, being born of the same training and all. On the other hand, I contend that we're all doomed to come out warped in fun and interesting ways by the time this is over. I've got a friend, for instance, who still can't look at salmon without flinching in post-Bowman stress.

On the other other hand, we can all marathon Bones episodes during mealtimes without blinking, so it all balances out. Heh.

[krisomniac.livejournal.com]

Hehheee. Yes, i suspect you are as doomed as I am. When did seeing it stop being enough, yo? (Somewhere during block V, I think)

You will have to be in on the study, clearly.

[ignipes.livejournal.com]

Double blinded... FROM YOURSELF.

:D

[krisomniac.livejournal.com]

Wondering if maybe I shouldn't be allowed free time afterall. (okay, off to read your story.)

[dolorous-ett.livejournal.com]

You are thinking in the right way - if everyone was rational about things like this it would be a much better world. Never stop!

(might not be writing this if i worked for a cosmetics company, though...)

[krisomniac.livejournal.com]

But I wonder, at what point do you stop being rational? I mean-- it's gotta be before you become Vulcan or something.