krisomniac: (spn dean chews pen)
[personal profile] krisomniac
Title: A box of pictures
Author: [livejournal.com profile] krisomniac
Rating, warnings, pairing: G, none, gen
Disclaimer: Not mine. No profit or copyright infringement intended.
A/N, Summary: Coda to Home. Sam wants to know things. Dean doesn't want to talk.

Spoilers for extra scene #19 from Home. Many thanks to [livejournal.com profile] ignipes fo rthe speedy beta. ~900 words

A Box of Pictures


They pull into a motel outside of Wichita a little after noon. Sam stays in the car, battered and bone-weary, while Dean checks in at the desk. He comes back a moment later.

"Room five," he says and heads inside, tosses their stuff on the floor of the motel room. It smells clean and impersonal, rootless and comfortable. Like home.

Sam's eyelids are heavy and his throat is throbbing with every breath, but he hardly notices. He collapses onto the bed and is asleep before Dean even shuts the door.

~

Sam splashes cold water on his face, shivering when it runs down his neck and bare chest. He slept four or five hours, but for the first time in a week, he didn't see the house once in his dreams. The bruises around his neck are dark and painful. He shaves carefully over them, trying not to think about the town that should have felt familiar, the nursery he doesn't remember, or the poltergeist that took her.

"Honey, I'm home!" Dean says, closing the door, "Where d'you want this?" He tosses the bottle of Advil on the bed, himself down after it.

Sam pours himself a cup of water and leaves the bathroom, tucking one tiny towel around his hips and using the other to dry his hair. "Here." He takes the medicine and pops two, chasing them with the water. "What took you so long?"

Dean shrugs. "You shower like a girl; figured I had time. Besides, the chick working at the drugstore was kinda hot."

Five months ago, Sam would've believed him. But today he had seen Dean through the window, standing at the Impala's open trunk, staring at something in his hands.

"Well," he says. "Thanks anyway." He points to the Advil. He means for going to Lawrence, for saving his life.

"Anytime," Dean says lightly, and Sam's pretty sure he means it.

Sam digs in his bag for a clean T-shirt and tries to find the words to ask the questions that have been circling the back of his mind for the past two days. Finally he swallows and blurts, "You go through those old photos yet?"

Sprawled out on the bed, Dean freezes. It's just a moment, a shift in attitude, but Sam understands. It's still too early to talk about it. Soon, it'll be too late.

"Nah," Dean says warily. "Why?"

"No reason." Sam clenches his jaw. The things he can't ask Dean about would fill a bucket with a hole in the bottom, and this last week has only reminded him how much he doesn't know.

~

He takes the box out that night while Dean is sleeping. The forty-watt bulb glows weakly, a small pool of light in the corner of the room. The lid is warped from fire and years of basement damp. He opens it carefully, expecting-- he isn't entirely sure what. He can't shake the memories of the house, the garage, Mike's voice and the pity in his eyes when he talked about Dad and Dean… and him.

Tell you the truth, it got so bad I called Social Services on him.

The photos are old Kodachromes, colors fading and yellowed around the edges. Sam turns them over, one after another. He touches the smiling faces on the front and the carefully written labels on the back. His mom and dad were happy then. Sam doesn't recognize them at all.

I just hope he got himself well.

Under a stack of pictures of his parents on a college campus, on a farm, in a bar, on a beach, there are pictures of Dean as a baby, as a young kid. Sam smiles, pausing on another one. His mom is holding a baby--him, and Dean is on Dad's shoulders. They're all red cheeked and sun-tanned. There's a giraffe in the background, looking over Mom's shoulder.

"That was the zoo in Salina." Dean's voice is low and husky, almost smiling.

"How long have you been awake?" Sam asks without turning around.

"Long enough."

"Looks like fun."

Dean yawns. "I guess it does."

~

"You ready to move on?" Dean asks. "There's some crop circles in Wisconsin that look promising." He laughs and shakes his head. "I still can't believe people blame those things on aliens."

"Right," Sam says, stuffing his clothes into his bag. "Because stampeding leprechauns is a much more plausible theory."

"Hey, I call 'em like I see 'em."

"And I'll believe it when I see them."

"Which means we're going?"

"Yeah. I guess so."

"You're all recovered from the killer lamp cord?"

"Yeah." Sam rubs his neck gingerly. "Hey, Dean." He exhales quickly; it's now or never. "About what Mike said."

Dean pauses, folds his newspaper slowly. "What about it?"

Sam thinks carefully about what he wants to know.

Sold his half of the garage and bought guns. Said his family was in danger. Anyway, it didn't matter. That's when he took off with the boys. Just vanished.

He wants to know what Dean remembers--if Dean remembers living with Mike, skipping town, learning to shoot a gun. He wants to know what would've happened if they'd stayed in Lawrence, rebuilt the house, gone to a normal school, lived a normal life.

Dean is staring at him, his expression unreadable. Maybe he wasn't sick. Maybe you should've stuck by your friend.

And for just a moment, Sam decides that maybe the what-ifs aren't so important after all. He smiles and drops the bottle of Advil into his bag. "Never mind."

Dean shrugs and hefts his bag out to the car.

2006-09-07 04:51 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile] lyra-wing.livejournal.com
AHHH STUPID BOYS. *knocks their heads together* I hate how they don't talk about anything, and yet... they do.

Oh, all RIGHT. I guess I love them for it, too. And you. :)

Man, you already know how much that deleted scene hit me, so... yes. I quite enjoyed this and how it addresses that scene (heh, without really addressing it, typical Winchesters).

2006-09-07 05:06 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile] krisomniac.livejournal.com
Hehe. The best thing about them is that they never talk about anything. Seriously, every time I expect a cheesy monologue, the writers pull through. :D

And yeah. That scene just-- Guh. Right where it hurts. Sometimes I think John is the world's biggest ass (like, as Kali pointed out last night, when Dean is SO sure he's gonna meet them at the next coordinates) and sometimes? I really feel for the guy.

2006-09-07 09:24 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile] girlmostlikely.livejournal.com
DUDE! I am *dying* to read this, but of course, don't want to until I've seen the deleted scene in Home! I am gonna keep it bookmarked until then, though! *g*

2006-09-07 10:47 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile] krisomniac.livejournal.com
Yeah. It's prolly one that will wait... SOON.

2006-09-07 12:23 (UTC)
innie_darling: (Default)
- Posted by [personal profile] innie_darling
Oh, that deleted scene threw me for a loop! I'm so glad you were able to be so beautifully coherent about it.

It's still too early to talk about it. Soon, it'll be too late. Oh, these BOYS!

2006-09-08 11:04 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile] krisomniac.livejournal.com
Oh thank you! And yes, I know. It just KILLED. They should definitely have left it in, I'm tellin ya.

2006-09-07 13:06 (UTC)
ext_1310: (Default)
- Posted by [identity profile] musesfool.livejournal.com
Oh, lovely. All the things they can't say but manage to communicate, somehow.

2006-09-08 11:05 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile] krisomniac.livejournal.com
they really. It's the best thing about the show, (Well, okay, in addition to the guns and pretty and monsters and scary and classic rock) and I'm SO glad that the creators and writers and actors are so committed to keeping it that way. :D

Thank you!

2006-09-07 13:50 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile] deirdre-c.livejournal.com
Yay! Just watched that scene! It blew me away! And this epilogue for it is so lovely. Those pictures and the memories Sam doesn't get to have. *wibble*

So nice!

2006-09-08 11:06 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile] krisomniac.livejournal.com
Ugh. Didn't it? Totally out of the water. I can't believe it got cut. Can you even IMAGE John when that happened? (I've been trying to get KAli to write the story of them leaving Kansas)

Thank you!!

2006-09-07 14:24 (UTC)
ext_12410: (Default)
- Posted by [identity profile] tsuki-no-bara.livejournal.com
haven't watched that scene yet, had to read this anyway. the boys are spot-on - sam with everything he wants to know and can't ask about (It's still too early to talk about it. Soon, it'll be too late), and dean with everything he's not going to say. poor boys. :(

2006-09-08 11:07 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile] krisomniac.livejournal.com
Yes. They could not talk for hours and still have things to not talk about... They're very cool like that.

Thank you!!

2006-09-07 19:26 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile] medicinal-mirth.livejournal.com
It's still too early to talk about it. Soon, it'll be too late.

And damn it! If that doesn't sum the two of them up ... *sighs*

"Because stampeding leprechauns is a much more plausible theory."

But it is! :P

Sam decides that maybe the what-ifs aren't so important after all.

Words to live by.

Absolutly beautiful, Kris. Seriously a lovely look at how the both of them think and interact and deal with everything. Perfect.

2006-09-08 11:08 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile] krisomniac.livejournal.com
Thank you1! I'm so tickles that you enjoyed it!! It was one of those things that hit in a flash and needed to be recorded. If only my Gleeweek piece was going so well...

You're a love! *loves*

2006-09-08 15:34 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile] medicinal-mirth.livejournal.com
It was one of those things that hit in a flash and needed to be recorded.

It kills me, but sometimes those are the stories that turn out the best. :D

2006-09-08 11:09 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile] krisomniac.livejournal.com
Thanky muchly!

2006-09-08 03:19 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile] squee1123.livejournal.com
i watched the scene before reading this and OH...the look on Dean...Jensen's...face..its HEARTBREAKING.

and they TOTALLY should have left that scene in.

2006-09-08 03:20 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile] squee1123.livejournal.com
aaand i totally didnt even MENTIOn that i loved this fic because its jsut so THEM.

2006-09-08 11:11 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile] krisomniac.livejournal.com
Awww Thank you! (And I adore your icon. Dunno if I've ever mentioned that) Yeah that scene totally did me in. Dean is SO upset. And it makes so much sense. And Mike DID think he was doing the right thing, because how could guns be what John needed right then, but they WERE. And *I* really want to know if Dean remember skipping town, so I can't imagine how much Sam was dying to ask, but it's one of those things...

Sorry that was a very long reply.

What I meant was thank you!

2006-09-08 06:12 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile] missyjack.livejournal.com
here on a rec from [livejournal.com profile] medicinal_mirth

Wonderful story showing how much is not said in this relationship, but is still understood.

2006-09-08 11:12 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile] krisomniac.livejournal.com
Thank you so much! And yeah, that's my all time favorite thing about this fandom. You can't even touch the touchy feely because they never would!

Glad you enjoyed!!

2006-09-08 07:19 (UTC)
ext_16275: (Default)
- Posted by [identity profile] legoline.livejournal.com
This was great - I mean it. Great. I watched Home the other day and got all teary eyed when Dean went through the pictures so this kinda...well, thanks for sharing *wipes eye*

(And I love it how they NOT talk in the end)

2006-09-08 11:13 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile] krisomniac.livejournal.com
Awww. thank you. Yeah. I'm DYING to know what he was thinking when he saw the box. Also what happened to it throughout the year (sequel, maybe?) Whether John ever found out that they had it...

HEhehee. Best thing about them is that they never talk. Wouldn't have been true to form to have a heart to heart. Which is why I love to write them. :D

Thanks again! I'm glad you liked.

2006-09-09 07:10 (UTC)
ext_16275: (Default)
- Posted by [identity profile] legoline.livejournal.com
sequel, maybe?

Sequel, definitely? :-p

Best thing about them is that they never talk. Wouldn't have been true to form to have a heart to heart. Which is why I love to write them. :D


Which is why I love them so much as characters. :-) You wrote them perfectly :-)

2006-09-08 12:27 (UTC)
ext_1770: @ _jems_ (Default)
- Posted by [identity profile] oxoniensis.livejournal.com
This is just lovely. So understated, all the things they can't and don't say.

2006-09-10 20:24 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile] krisomniac.livejournal.com
Grazi. They are experts at saying nothing that they mean and totally *getting* it all the same.

2006-09-08 14:06 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile] iamstealthyone.livejournal.com
Nice job on this ficlet. I love how you worked in that deleted scene. I’ve only watched that scene once, but this makes me want to view it again.

Favorite lines:

Sam splashes cold water on his face, shivering when it runs down his neck and bare chest.

Ooh, nekkid!torso. *leers*

He shaves carefully over them, trying not to think about the town that should have felt familiar, the nursery he doesn't remember, or the poltergeist that took her.

Oh, Sam.

"Honey, I'm home!" Dean says, closing the door

*g*

Sam pours himself a cup of water and leaves the bathroom, tucking one tiny towel around his hips and using the other to dry his hair.

Ooh, a tiny towel around his waist? So, nekkid!torso again? *leers* (I’m easily distracted, what can I say?)

It's just a moment, a shift in attitude, but Sam understands. It's still too early to talk about it. Soon, it'll be too late.

Love how you phrased those lines. Very, very nice. Timing really is everything with these boys.

"I still can't believe people blame those things on aliens."

"Right," Sam says, stuffing his clothes into his bag. "Because stampeding leprechauns is a much more plausible theory."


LOL!

And for just a moment, Sam decides that maybe the what-ifs aren't so important after all. He smiles and drops the bottle of Advil into his bag. "Never mind."

*hugs Sam*

Thanks for a good read.

2006-09-10 20:25 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile] krisomniac.livejournal.com
Aww thank you! You always leave the nicest feedback. :D

Yes, there are some very gratuitous Sam-abs tucked in there. Mmmm. And I do love to play with the boys.

Thanks again!

2006-09-10 22:54 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile] iamstealthyone.livejournal.com
And I do love to play with the boys.

That sounds kind of naughty. *g*

2006-09-11 02:41 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile] krisomniac.livejournal.com
It totally is kinda naughty. ;)

2006-09-08 20:05 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile] esorlehcar.livejournal.com
And for just a moment, Sam decides that maybe the what-ifs aren't so important after all. He smiles and drops the bottle of Advil into his bag. "Never mind."

Dean shrugs and hefts his bag out to the car.


I love how most of what happens in this story happen in between the words -- they don't talk and they don't analyze and they don't examine but a lot gets said all the same. Just lovely.

2006-09-10 20:26 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile] krisomniac.livejournal.com
Awww. That's the best thing about writing them--that there's no touchy-feely nonesense, and everything happens between the lines, as it were.

You're a love!! Thanks again.

2006-09-12 20:46 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile] storydivagirl.livejournal.com
Great piece! Truly lovely!

2006-09-16 22:31 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile] krisomniac.livejournal.com
Thank you muchos!! It was one of those things that needed to be said.

2006-09-19 14:20 (UTC)
ext_11786: (Default)
- Posted by [identity profile] dotfic.livejournal.com
Lovely. You did great things with that deleted scene, which I think is now considered part of canon, or should be, yes? And also, I love that give us a moment of Sam looking at the photos and wondering about his family. Much needed. :)

2007-12-02 03:00 (UTC)
tabaqui: (Default)
- Posted by [personal profile] tabaqui
Ah, i like. Bitter-sweet, and just exactly our boys.
Nice stuff.
Rec'd at [livejournal.com profile] crack_impala

2007-12-15 15:38 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile] krisomniac.livejournal.com
Thank you!! (Sorry it took so long to comment, been stuck in exams for a while)

2007-12-02 03:45 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile] loco-lobo.livejournal.com
*is in love*

not much more I can say ;) very beautiful and just ow *rubs chest*

2007-12-15 15:39 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile] krisomniac.livejournal.com
aww, thank you! Man, this show has been so good for so long, and it's funny looking back, how much *hasn't* changed despite everything that has.

2007-12-02 16:13 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile] ingkir.livejournal.com
Here via [livejournal.com profile] crack_impala

This is such a gorgeous look at what the boys say and don't really say.

"Well," he says. "Thanks anyway." He points to the Advil. He means for going to Lawrence, for saving his life.

"Anytime," Dean says lightly, and Sam's pretty sure he means it.



"Because stampeding leprechauns is a much more plausible theory." and a nice touch of the light and funny too.

Lovely :)

2007-12-15 15:39 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile] krisomniac.livejournal.com
Thank you!! That's totally my favorite thing about them. :)

ah, boys.

2007-12-02 18:33 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile] harrigan.livejournal.com
Bless [profile] crackimpala for digging out these little gems and putting them on display again for us to marvel at!

There have been such swings (in aired canon and in fanfic) in how much the boys do and don't open up with each other. It's sort of a treasure to find this snippet when they just ... didn't ... and hadn't in so many years ... and it hurts. And feels right too.

Beautifully done here.

2007-12-15 15:43 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile] krisomniac.livejournal.com
Bless crackimpala

Seriously, man. I hadn't even looked at this story in ages. :)

Thank you so much!!

2007-12-14 22:01 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile] nativestar.livejournal.com
This is lovely as it perfectly captures the boys tendency to not talk about the important stuff. I know I'm pretty much repeating what others have already said but it's true, I love that its so understated and it feels true to the show.

Just to let you know I'm doing a home fic rec on [livejournal.com profile] spn_epific and I'm including this one there.

2007-12-15 15:36 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile] krisomniac.livejournal.com
Aww Thank you! (and thank you for the rec!! :) )

I miss our boys already, yo.

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