>>But I suspect my respect for Tonks as a character just spiraled down the drain.>>
Yeah, mine too. And I think that's my real problem with R/T as it was presented in HBP. Not that it existed at all (though I wouldn't have been particularly happy about that, either) but, well, all the below points:
(a) That she needed to literally rob Tonks of her powers. As a feminist, the idea that women are helpless without a man bothers me. Why couldn't they have had an equal relationship, or at least one that didn't involve Tonks ripping out her spine and begging for Remus to love her?
And the changing Patronus bugged me, too. I think we were supposed to see it as a moving delacaration of love and affection. But instead not only did it turn into the old 'changing yourself (haha) for a man' thing, but it added on the 'poor little girl needs a big strong man to take care of her'. Couldn't Tonks's Patronus been something that reflected *her* inner strength: not just whatever guy she happened to fancy at the time?
(b)The emphasis on marriage and love as being the most important things in the world. Yes, love is vitally important and I think marriage is positively nifty. But I think that life is about a good deal more than that and I wished that this book had reflected it. If Remus and Tonks's relationship had been in the background, a part of a larger character arc, it would have been far easier for me to enjoy. Instead it pushed love and romance to the front and center, as if it was the most important thing that they could be doing right then. I don't like this in fanfic and I like it even less in canon. At least here we can say that we're choosing to focus on the aspects of canon that we're most interested in, i.e. the relationship between these two characters. For JKR to do it, she must purposefully narrow her focus so that she can make romantic relationships paramount over all others. And, as I've said, I just don't like that.
(c) The fact that JKR dismissed what I think are perfectly valid reasons for Remus and Tonks to _not_ get together by saying that their love could overcome all that. And while I know that a lot of people think that's romantic and beautiful but I don't. Especially not when it's a young woman who's expected to go after a much older, somewhat embittered man and 'save' him with her love. This isn't limited to HP, either, in fact it's the main reason that I avoid many romantic movies and books. The idea that older, trouble man + younger, idealistic girl = True Love Always has always bothered me. Why doesn't the girl go and find a young idealistic boy who she would most likely have more in common with? Or have the older man find an equally troubled woman of the same age? I just... ugh. Don't like it, never have, never will.
Oh well. I think that after venting I'm definitely taking a two week break from this fandom. I'll go, read other fics from fandoms past, maybe explore a few new ones. I don't want to hear any crowing from the anti-R/S side or even any squeeing about how cute Remus and Tonks are together (though I don't think that there's anything wrong with that either. I'm happy for the R/T fans, really. As long as they don't gloat or rub anything in my face, I have no issue with them. We have very, very different tastes in pairings but I'm not so arrogant as to say that my taste is good and theirs is bad). Last night, before going out to buy the book, I went and reread all my favourite R/S fics and meta and said my formal goodbye to this pairing. Now I think that I'm ready to really let it go.
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2005-07-16 14:47 (UTC)Yeah, mine too. And I think that's my real problem with R/T as it was presented in HBP. Not that it existed at all (though I wouldn't have been particularly happy about that, either) but, well, all the below points:
(a) That she needed to literally rob Tonks of her powers. As a feminist, the idea that women are helpless without a man bothers me. Why couldn't they have had an equal relationship, or at least one that didn't involve Tonks ripping out her spine and begging for Remus to love her?
And the changing Patronus bugged me, too. I think we were supposed to see it as a moving delacaration of love and affection. But instead not only did it turn into the old 'changing yourself (haha) for a man' thing, but it added on the 'poor little girl needs a big strong man to take care of her'. Couldn't Tonks's Patronus been something that reflected *her* inner strength: not just whatever guy she happened to fancy at the time?
(b)The emphasis on marriage and love as being the most important things in the world. Yes, love is vitally important and I think marriage is positively nifty. But I think that life is about a good deal more than that and I wished that this book had reflected it. If Remus and Tonks's relationship had been in the background, a part of a larger character arc, it would have been far easier for me to enjoy. Instead it pushed love and romance to the front and center, as if it was the most important thing that they could be doing right then. I don't like this in fanfic and I like it even less in canon. At least here we can say that we're choosing to focus on the aspects of canon that we're most interested in, i.e. the relationship between these two characters. For JKR to do it, she must purposefully narrow her focus so that she can make romantic relationships paramount over all others. And, as I've said, I just don't like that.
(c) The fact that JKR dismissed what I think are perfectly valid reasons for Remus and Tonks to _not_ get together by saying that their love could overcome all that. And while I know that a lot of people think that's romantic and beautiful but I don't. Especially not when it's a young woman who's expected to go after a much older, somewhat embittered man and 'save' him with her love. This isn't limited to HP, either, in fact it's the main reason that I avoid many romantic movies and books. The idea that older, trouble man + younger, idealistic girl = True Love Always has always bothered me. Why doesn't the girl go and find a young idealistic boy who she would most likely have more in common with? Or have the older man find an equally troubled woman of the same age? I just... ugh. Don't like it, never have, never will.
Oh well. I think that after venting I'm definitely taking a two week break from this fandom. I'll go, read other fics from fandoms past, maybe explore a few new ones. I don't want to hear any crowing from the anti-R/S side or even any squeeing about how cute Remus and Tonks are together (though I don't think that there's anything wrong with that either. I'm happy for the R/T fans, really. As long as they don't gloat or rub anything in my face, I have no issue with them. We have very, very different tastes in pairings but I'm not so arrogant as to say that my taste is good and theirs is bad). Last night, before going out to buy the book, I went and reread all my favourite R/S fics and meta and said my formal goodbye to this pairing. Now I think that I'm ready to really let it go.