krisomniac: (spn dean chews pen)
[personal profile] krisomniac
OMG, two story posts in one night. The world must be coming to an end.

Title: Like a Fiddle
Author: [livejournal.com profile] krisomniac
Rating, Warnings, Disclaimer: PG. None. Sadly, none of this is mine
Spoilers: Through Lucifer Rising
Summary: Words and roads. Sometimes things fall apart, sometimes they don’t. Coda to 4x22
Wordcount: 1,200
Author’s Note: For the incomparable [livejournal.com profile] deirdre_c on the occasion of the anniversary of her birth. You’re an amazing person, Dei, in life and in fandom. Don’t ever change. My only thought writing this was to give you happy, wrestling, post-finale Winchesters. I didn’t quite get there, but I hope you enjoy it anyway.


They were cruising on I-70, somewhere between hell and Pittsburgh, PA, engine of the borrowed car screaming in the afternoon sun, when Sam’s hitched breathing finally slowed and his clenched fingers relaxed in the folds of his shirt. Dean’s first and only plan, half-formed as they ran from the blinding light of the cracked-open doorway to Lucifer’s tomb, to get as far away as fast as they could, seemed to be working so far. He exhaled.

“Sammy?” he said, partly to make sure Sam was still there, with him. Partly to fill the silence that echoed over the sounds of the road.

“Quieter.”

“Sam?” Dean whispered.

“Not you.” Sam glanced in his direction. “Him. He’s quieter, now.”

They drove for a while without speaking, while lines on the highway disappearing under the tires as they went. The mountains were still standing, the trees still green, and no angels had come swooping out of the sky to spirit them away. So apparently, Dean figured, the world wasn’t quite over yet.

“You can hear him?” Dean asked.

“Not words, exactly.” Sam frowned, trying to explain. “You know when Castiel first tried to speak to you?”

Dean shuddered and quickly looked Sam over for bleeding nose or ears.

“Well, I guess he was an angel once, too.”

Dean’s next thought was of Jimmy, and he pushed the car faster away.

~

They had turned the radio off after the first report of broken gas mains back in Maryland. There would be time later for news of death and destruction, for confusion and fire raining from the sky. For now, all they needed to know was this. Fall back and regroup. Together.

The needle on the gas gauge was drifting down towards empty. “Gonna need to refuel soon,” Dean said. Sam nodded.

~

Dean walked out of the convenience mart with two coffees, a bag of beef jerky, some chips and a Snickers bar. The car was still drinking down gasoline on one of his last stolen cards. He lifted the back to see what Ruby had stashed in the trunk, saw the blood, the cut end of rope, and closed it quickly.

Sam was leaning against a tree, looking out over the spring-damp sunset and rolling hills. “She was a nurse,” he said without turning around. “NICU. She had one of Lilith’s demons inside her.”

“I—“

“She screamed all the way from Cold Spring until we, until I…. The demon let her see everything we were doing, everything we were going to do.”

“That must have been horrible.”

Sam nodded tightly. The pump shut off and they got back into the car. It made Dean’s skin crawl a little to be driving Sam around in the same vehicle he and Ruby had used, and he amended the plan to include stealing a new one at the first opportunity.

“Jerky?” he asked handing the bag to Sam.

“Only you would think of food at a time like this.”

“…was hungry,” Dean managed to explain while chewing.

Sam left the bag untouched.

~

It was brand new, black and shiny, and Mr. McDaniels (according to his mailbox) really should have put it in the garage, or at least somewhere less visible if he didn’t want to lose it… to a good cause, of course, Dean thought as he opened the Mustang’s starter with a neat click.

Sam grabbed the food from Ruby’s car, left everything else behind. Dean pretended to be concerned with the clock on the dash, with adjusting the vents and turning off the radio, but he never lost sight of Sam. He watched every movement, looking for some change, some sign.

But t wasn’t there. If anything, the kid was calmer than Dean had seen him in weeks. Quiet. Accepting. Resigned.

Sam closed the door. “Bobby expecting us?” he asked, without questioning what lay at the end of the road.

“Yeah.”

“He know what happened?” Sam paused for just a microsecond. “What I did?”

Dean lay his foot on the accelerator a little too hard, and their heads snapped back against the seats as the engine roared to life. “You didn’t—“

“You’re gonna wake the neighbors,” Sam said in the same, controlled voice.

“It wasn’t you,” Dean insisted, when he’d eased the car onto the highway, settling into the speed as he settled the wild thumping of his heart. “It was her. It was the blood.”

Sam only shook his head and stared at the trees passing by.

~

The car slipped across the double yellow lines, and Dean brought it back into their lane with a start. His eyelids were heavy despite the caffeine fire in his veins, and the sky was starless, clouded-over and dark.

“Pull over,” Sam said, “I’m driving before you get us killed.”

Dean wasn’t sure whether Sam had slept in the last six hundred miles either, but he shrugged and eased the car to the side of the road.

Sam got out and closed the door behind him. For a moment, he just stood, leaning against it in the cool night air. Then he came over and perched himself on the hood next to Dean.

Dean shivered. “All quiet on the airwaves?”

“Yeah.” Sam closed his eyes. “Has been for a while.”

“You okay?”

“I think I am.”

“Because I figure you’ve got a lot more brooding to go.”

Sam shook his head as he shrugged. “Look, I know things got pretty messed up back there, and I know what you said on that voicemail—wait. You weren’t wrong.” He frowned and swallowed. “But that part, it’s over. Ruby’s gone, and even if she wasn’t, I can feel that it’s done. The thing is, Dean, I realized when that door opened, that if I had to do it again, even knowing she was the final seal, I would’ve done it all the same.”

“Done Lilith?”

“Yeah.”

“How come?”

“It was the only way to be sure.”

“Sure of what?”

“That your contract was really null and void.”

Dean stood in silence, staring up at the clouds. He could feel the enormity of Sam’s words creeping under the blanket of the sky. For a long while, no one said anything. Sam was warm beside him, his breath falling quiet and even. Finally Dean turned towards him. “They played us good, didn’t they.”

Sam smiled. “Yeah, they did.”

“And now we have an apocalypse to stop?”

Sam ran a hand through his messy sweat-dry hair. “Looks like.”

“So it’s just another day at the office.” He grinned. “We’d better get going,” he said, though part of him wanted to collapse with giddy relief. He didn’t know where it came from, but it hit in a wave that made his knees wobble and he leaned heavily against the car. Lucifer was free. Angels and demons were readying a war that humanity was going to lose. Everyone they knew was going to suffer, maybe even die, but for the first time in a very, very long time, everything felt right.

Sam pulled him away from the driver’s side door and climbed in. Dean crossed the beam of headlights and got into the car beside him.

“Trust you to finish the thing I started,” Dean mumbled, exhaustion overtaking him at last.

“What do you think little brothers are for?”

Pondering exactly that, Dean let his head slip to the side, and he fell asleep somewhere in Wisconsin to the sound of Sam’s soft humming and the low thunder of their tires on the road.

2009-07-27 03:17 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile] ignipes.livejournal.com
JUST LIKE THIS.

Oh, those poor broken boys.

<33333333333333333333

2009-07-27 14:17 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile] krisomniac.livejournal.com
I know, right!? I hope Kripke puts them back together again. and SOON!

(thanky!)

2009-07-27 05:50 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile] counteragent.livejournal.com
excellent! I was hoping someone would bring Sam to this conclusion! And you did it in such a lovely and evocative fic!

2009-07-27 14:18 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile] krisomniac.livejournal.com
Whee! It seemed to fit, and I don't know why he didn't bring it up at all in his rationalizations during this past season. But I agree, I don't think he's going to be okay with himself until he realizes he would gladly end the world for Dean (and vice versa). Oh BOYS.

Thank you!

2009-07-27 11:46 (UTC)
ext_11786: (Default)
- Posted by [identity profile] dotfic.livejournal.com
They're almost happy. Sort of. Poor boys. Love how Sam's determined not to let himself off the hook and how Dean keeps trying to let him off.

2009-07-27 14:23 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile] krisomniac.livejournal.com
Love how Sam's determined not to let himself off the hook and how Dean keeps trying to let him off.

Completely. To me that's their m.o., and part of what was so off this season was that from the very beginning Dean pulled back from this unconditional support and made Sam face things, himself, on his own-- and honestly, I think we all need someone who tells us it's not our fault, even when we both know it is, and for Sam, that person kinda has to be Dean. So I feel like coming to Sam's defense again is a big part of what's going to bring him around after all this is over. I dunno. I'm bad at meta expect, occasionally, in story form.

Thank you!

2009-07-27 16:23 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile] one-2-3-4.livejournal.com
Excellent! This is quite the acceptable post-ep. I miss boys being brothers. <3

2009-08-02 14:19 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile] krisomniac.livejournal.com
Me too, yo! I hope they get back to it ASAP.

2009-07-27 17:55 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile] obeetaybee.livejournal.com
Oh, Kris, this was awesome! I loved every sentence of this, their interactions, Sam's determination to kill Lilith by any means possible because it meant that Dean was finally, finally free of the deal.

Awesome job!

2009-08-03 04:37 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile] krisomniac.livejournal.com
Oh, thank you!

It was the only way I saw Sam coming to terms with it? I dunno. :D

2009-07-28 00:29 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile] deirdre-c.livejournal.com
WOW. This is gorgeous. Such a perfect scene between the two of them... tying up so many loose threads from the end of S4 and setting up so much TOGETHERNESS going forward. Not resolution exactly, but perfection. *happy sigh*

This is such a wonderful gift. Thank you so much, not just for this, but for your friendship every day. I can't tell you how lucky I feel to know you and to get to spend time with you. That's the BEST gift of all.

2009-08-03 04:37 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile] krisomniac.livejournal.com
Thank you! So much loves for you and everything you've done for ME!

*smishes*

2009-07-28 01:12 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile] amchara.livejournal.com
OH. *heartclench*

They're not right together yet, but they took the first step in getting there. &heart;! And how much do I love you writing Sam as unrepentant for killing Lilith because it was the only way to make sure that Dean really was out of his deal? And Dean! Being almost glad the apocalypse is happening because it's giving him a role to fight in.

2009-08-03 04:39 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile] krisomniac.livejournal.com
Awww, thank you! I hope this will be a good thing for their togetherness, because I can't believe it is for just about anything else... ;)

And, yeah, I think it's the way Sam can come to terms with his actions, whether or not it was his original motivation. (And I think it was his original motivation, found again during the Criss Angel ep, and maybe lost a little on the way)

2009-07-31 14:18 (UTC)
embroiderama: (Default)
- Posted by [personal profile] embroiderama
Oh boys. Excellent!

2009-08-03 04:40 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile] krisomniac.livejournal.com
Thank you!!

2009-07-31 14:55 (UTC)
ext_1310: (Default)
- Posted by [identity profile] musesfool.livejournal.com
Oh, boys...

2009-08-03 04:40 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile] krisomniac.livejournal.com
Yes, our boys.

I love that icon :D

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